any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
