I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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