She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Randomize
