Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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