let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
