You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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