is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
