She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
