shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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