so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
