I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
