he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Randomize
