i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Randomize
