it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize