yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Randomize