My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
