I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
