come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize
