we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize