a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
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