Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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