So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
