Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Randomize
