that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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