Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
I just found a bag of teeth...
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Please don't give away my fajitas
Randomize
