Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
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