can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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