Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
