Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
