just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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