It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
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