i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Everyone says I win the strip club
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
i think i just lost a toe
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Randomize
