I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Randomize
