smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
