But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
