I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
