It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize