I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
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