this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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