with your own penis?
Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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