she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
