come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
