I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
