I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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