dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Actions speak louder than pants.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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