Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
