are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
