Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
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