Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
