Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
Randomize
