hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize