What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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