her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
