4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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