Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
Randomize
