Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Randomize
