those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
COCAINE IS GR8
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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