i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
