did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
