can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Randomize
