Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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