I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
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