Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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